Someday

Someday I will get there.

Someday I will not need to turn to food for comfort. Someday, that full feeling in my stomach will not be the only thing that truly calms me down.

Someday I will have meaningful sex again, and not just one-night-stands where I want more but the guy never does. Someday I will find a partner who cares about me.

Someday I will laugh and feel free. I will no longer be weighted with lead. I will be able to contribute and help others and not be mired in my misery. Someday my life will not seem a lot like a journey through increasingly exotic places in which I can feel depressed.

Someday I will be able to share my gifts with others. I will blossom like a flower and not be bitterly twisted in on myself.

I know it won’t always be this hard. I am constantly surprised by life. I have faith that it will surprise me again, in positive and wonderful ways that I cannot even begin to imagine.

I bought a book yesterday: Overcoming Binge Eating. It was recommended by the ED facility that I phoned last week. I will start reading it this afternoon. I feel good about this positive step.

I have deep-seated issues that need to be addressed before I will be able to get anywhere. I know that now. I’m committed to doing that work.

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