Hola! It’s past my bed time so I’ll just keep this brief. Today I started the self-help program in Overcoming Binge Eating. Exciting times. Step 1 involves starting to record on paper everything you eat and drink, as you eat and drink it (or ASAP afterwards). You must also record time, location, any vomiting or laxative misuse, and feelings and context, plus an asterisk if you consider it a “binge”. Big commitment to record every little thing, but I’m ready. It also involves weekly weigh-ins.
Today was a good day, food-wise. I had porridge with stewed apple for breakie, as I Skyped the fam back home, then a freshly made ginger-and-honey coconut flour cupcake (strange combo but I was improvising, and they’re actually pretty good), then a yummy chicken salad for dinner, and a low-cal ginger beer. And some goji berries and a little cottage cheese. Plus a million cups of tea, as usual.
I got my hair cut today (a bob; it’s cute, I like it), then wandered around fancy-schmancy suburb Primrose Hill looking for celebrities because my sister said lots of famous people live there (none to be found, alas), and then Regents Park, which was so beautiful. Someone who may or may not have been Fiona Shaw jogged past me. Let’s just say she was Fiona Shaw, because then I’ll feel like less of a failure at celebrity-spotting. The sun was out, and the grass was green, and I came upon the Queen Mary rose garden, which was so nice. Some of the roses smelled simply heavenly. My favourite was a white rose called Silver Anniversary. I’d happily wear its fragrance as a perfume.
So, re le program, tomorrow I weigh myself for the first time in yonks. When I started binging again recently all scale-checking went out the window, so I don’t know what to expect. It’ll be high, I know that much. But whatever. It feels good to have started the program. I feel… safe? Or at least as though I’m not alone any more. A respected, trusted professional is telling me exactly what to do, in a proven format. That is immensely comforting.