Weeks of binge eating + two weeks of holiday eating with a house guest = chubby Marnie.
Granted, chubby Marnie has quite a nice posterior, but she does not like her thighs. Or her stomach.
At least right now I am not in a binge phase. I am grateful for that, and I shall try to make it last. But I want to lose weight. I can’t deny that. If I make a concerted effort to lose weight, though, and start to succeed, I inevitably freak out and self-sabotage.
Should I try to put weight loss aside for now and just focus on normal eating, and tackling BED? That will take a long time. I can’t even start the Overcoming program until I get my cast off — not for another five weeks, at least!
And I’m still waiting for my first psych appointment, when I will start CBT, at long last. In the meantime, I am unhappy in my skin. What on earth do I do?
I genuinely wish I didn’t care so much. But I do.