Would you like thighs with that?

Um. Help?

Weeks of binge eating + two weeks of holiday eating with a house guest = chubby Marnie.

Granted, chubby Marnie has quite a nice posterior, but she does not like her thighs. Or her stomach.

At least right now I am not in a binge phase. I am grateful for that, and I shall try to make it last. But I want to lose weight. I can’t deny that. If I make a concerted effort to lose weight, though, and start to succeed, I inevitably freak out and self-sabotage.

Should I try to put weight loss aside for now and just focus on normal eating, and tackling BED? That will take a long time. I can’t even start the Overcoming program until I get my cast off — not for another five weeks, at least!

And I’m still waiting for my first psych appointment, when I will start CBT, at long last. In the meantime, I am unhappy in my skin. What on earth do I do?

I genuinely wish I didn’t care so much. But I do.


3 thoughts on “Would you like thighs with that?

  1. Definitely empathize with you. I like having more curves in SOME places, but now I’m curvy…all…over. I would focus on normal eating. That’s still my plan – to first stop the binging, start eating normally, then (hopefully) the weight loss will naturally follow sometime down the road. Focusing on losing weight always backfires for me. It opens up those ugly jars of constant guilt, self-sabotage, and disappointment. It’s hard though because I also care about how I look and how my clothes fit and how that makes me feel. But hang in there! You’re doing very well, so keep up the great work.

    1. You feel me, Kristen! Excellent points; I’m exactly the same. You’ve got a great attitude about it. I am going to try a no-sugar, no-flour challenge for a week or so though, starting tomorrow, because I feel like a bit of a nutritional reset. I hope it doesn’t lead to a binge… I’ll see how I go, and I’ll do a post about it. Thank you for the support! It means a lot, and I hope you’re going well too đŸ™‚

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