I am tired of riding the sugar roller coaster. Literally. These days, when I have a sweet treat, it makes me tired almost immediately. Years of binge eating junk have not done anything good for my health and, honestly, I am worried. I hope I haven’t given myself pre-diabetes or something, but it would not surprise me. My mother would say I am probably catastrophising, though, as I am wont to do, so I’m trying not to worry.
A little over two months ago I saw a GP for the first time since I moved here. I told her about my low mood, anxiety and binge eating. She ordered blood tests and I had the tests done but, when I went to get the results, I was kept waiting and ended up having to leave before I could see the doctor. I will see if I can get the results over the phone. They would be a little out of date now but my diet hasn’t changed and, I assume, the results would still show if I was in some sort of diabetic danger zone.
There’s no point regretting the past. I never wanted an eating disorder. Right now, what I can do is take steps myself to try to get my energy back on an even keel. I’m doing this by avoiding sugar, caffeine, dairy and grains for at least 10 days. The diet is inspired by Dr Mark Hyman’s Blood Sugar Solution concept and book, which I haven’t read yet, but I intend to. The diet consists of vegetables (predominantly non-starchy varieties), lean protein, eggs, nuts and nut butters, and “good” fats such as olive oil. No fruit and no sweeteners, natural or otherwise, and no alcohol. The less processed the food, the better.
This morning I made a shake for breakfast, with lots of whole-foodie ingredients. It kept me going til about 11am, so tomorrow I’ll add some more ingredients to keep me full for longer. Right now, as I sit in a hospital clinic awaiting an appointment about my fractures, I am tired but — I hope — lunch will put me right. And I know that ordinarily I’d have had about three cups of tea by now!
I hope, after the first few days of detoxing, that I start to feel energetic instead of sluggish. I look forward to that. It’s one of life’s cruelties that delicious sugar is so very bad for us, but it’s time for me to be a grown-up about things. How I will manage a new diet while dealing with BED remains to be seen, but I guess I’ll find out!